Wednesday, December 9, 2009


My dear friend, Tiffany, over at ElastaMom’s Excerpts has tagged me as a Theta Mom. Theta stands for The Truly Authentic Mom. Thank you Tiffany! I am honored that you thought of me. You are so sweet and do an amazing job each and everyday with your children.

This title comes with some responsibilities and one of them is that I share five experiences that have shaped me as a true authentic mom. The other is that I tag five other ladies who I think bring a certain sense of authenticity to the title of mom. This is beyond difficult to do because there are so many wonderful mothers out there each doing it her own way. That’s what I call authentic. But nonetheless, those are the rules.

Here are the 5 experiences that have shaped me as a Theta Mom.

1. When I was in the operating room having B and A, I was terrified. I had made my husband swear that he would not leave me for even one second at the hospital by myself. I am not too keen on hospitals and I used to almost pass out upon entering one and having that hospital smell hit me. Anyway, being the wonderful man he is, he swore up and down that he would stay by my side like glue. I already had to leave him to get my epidural because of hospital policy. I was lying there and B was born first. Within one minute, A was born. We were hitting a rough patch in the delivery concerning myself-not the babies. Long story short, I survived something that 99% of women die from during delivery. Even though I knew something was not right with myself, I heard them crying. I immediately turned to T and directed him to go to them. Go now I said. They need you. In my head I was thinking they are alone, they are scared. It’s your turn now to be there for them. And I braved my dilemma on the operating table by myself. I was scared, but I thought of them first. I didn’t even really think. It was just a natural gut reaction. The mother in me took over and I knew what they needed and I put that first. T hesitated to leave me. I can still see that torn look on his face. Leave my wife here or go to my children? I think he saw my face and knew I meant it. So, he went to be with them.

2. The decision to leave my career behind and become a full time mom when I had B and A. This is never an easy decision. To me- the financials didn’t matter, my career path didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that I was there with my babies whenever they needed me. So, I left and didn’t look back. There are so many moments that make up their childhood. I have been there for almost all of them. That is important to me. People say that these stages only last so long. They are only little once. It goes by so fast. I couldn’t agree more and I am so glad that I have my memories of it and that I am a part of theirs.

3. When you are pregnant or have small children there is always someone pushing their ideas onto you. Try this. Do that. When I first had B and A this happened to me constantly. There may be something about the frazzled look of a first time mother of twins that screams "Please help me!"-whether that person really wants you to or not. I listen when others talk about their parenting philosophies. I take in people’s advice. I read books. However, I will never let someone else push their parenting ideas on to me or influence how I parent my children. In other words, I’m doing this my way. The way that I see fit. The best way I know how. You can judge. You can question. Feel free. But, you won’t affect my parenting if I don’t completely agree with you in my heart or in my head.

4. Getting pregnant with R. We had a hard time conceiving B and A. There was a time when I questioned whether or not I’d ever be a mother. For four years after we had them, we left things up to fate to determine if we’d have any more children. I wasn’t willing to go through fertility treatments again, but would have liked another baby. The exact month that we said, ok that’s it. They’re getting too far apart in age. It would be too tough to start completely over at this point. Let’s close off the possibilities now. Guess what? Bingo. I think getting pregnant on my own somehow justified to me that I could do this. That this is what my body is capable of. On it’s own. It just happened. I had the chance to be shocked by looking at a pregnancy stick. And she has been surprising me ever since!

5. Each and every time one of my children needs me or calls me or hugs me or kisses me. Each time I see their little faces light up because of something that they want to show me or because they are excited to see me. I know. I know then that this is what it means to be a mom. Each time I have the opportunity to teach them something new-a math problem, how to tie a shoe, how to be kind, how to support a friend. Each time I have the ability to influence them in a positive way. I know that this is what it means to be a mom. Each time I realize how it feels to love someone more than you ever could have thought. To love someone more than yourself. To worry endlessly about their well being. I know then that this is what it means to be a mom. An authentic mom. Doing it my own way. Hopefully, when they look back, they’ll feel all of the love and thought that I have put into raising them.

And finally… here is the list of ladies who I am tagging as Theta Moms. Can’t wait to hear about what makes each of you authentic!

2. Kristen at The Norwindians


  1. You are so sweet! Thank you so much! It may take me a bit to pass it along (complicated) but I am truly honored.

    As for #1, you didn't have a placenta accreta, did you? I had one with Miss D. Ugly stuff. (and you don't have to say what it was if you don't want to, of course).

  2. Ahhh I was reading this thinking it was so nice and I saw my name at the bottom. You made my day. I don't always feel like a good mom so give me time to think about what makes me "authentic".

  3. OMG, this made me cry. What you wrote not that you tagged me... Although that's nice too! Thanks, I linked to you today and will post my list and tagged blogs soon.

  4. I loved reading your list! Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mom. Seriously.

    And thanks for the tag, I could use some inspiration right now.

  5. Your #2 is so hard, I've been down that road as well. What a fantastic list!!! I have had the BEST time making my way around to the blogs have have participated in this tag that I started well over a month ago (and it's still going)! And it gives me the opportunity to find some new blogs! :)

  6. Wonderful post!! I love your 5 things and the people you chose, especially TKW!! Love her. Glad you made it through the scary.

  7. What a great post. I'm so excited to be tagged. Thank you! I'm working on a worthy post. You're one of my favorite morning reads.