I love the holidays. Really, I do. Truly love them. I do. Really. At least I used to with my whole heart. Now a days, the holidays and I have more of a love/hate relationship going on.
Since I have become a mother, I feel the pressure of the holidays. I never used to. They were just something to enjoy before. Now, I know I am responsible for someone’s memories and I want them to be truly fantastic. So, I hold myself up to unbelievable standards.
I used to be able to swing every thing when it was just T and I. I could run around like crazy, manage to get everything accomplished and still be a sane person. I was working full time, yet I’d do elaborate things like make gift tags by hand, copy a Martha Stewart truffle tree dessert, sew Christmas stockings for T and myself. By the way, I don’t sew. But, I still did it. And they looked great. You get the idea.
It’s a little bit tougher now with the three additional little people I tote along. Harder to get things done. Harder for it to look easy. Harder for me to feel like I am happy or enjoying it and not just feeling the pressure.
We have so many great things that we do as a family during this time of the year. So many wonderful traditions that we’ve carved out. But lately, I feel the squeeze to get them all done. So, I’ve been contemplating when is it time to let some things go? What is going to make everyone in our family happy?
I’ve pleaded my case to my husband. I tried to explain to him that I haven’t lost my passion for the holidays. They’re just beating me down a little. So, this year, he has promised to chip in. He went shopping for our ridiculously lengthy gift list with me this weekend. He took a peek at the holiday card and gave input on which one he liked and why. He assembled both trees and fluffed them himself while I got out the rest of the decorations. We decorated them as a family later on in the day. It isn’t anything crazy or over the top that he’s done, just little things here and there.
I think I feel different this year sharing the load more with someone. Even if he’s not outside stringing the lights with me or doing the baking, at least he’s checking in to see how it’s going. I am pleased about this little shift. I guess more than anything I just don’t want to feel like it all rests on my shoulders. Maybe that’s all I needed was someone to take some of the pressure off.
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Why IS it that most of the holiday duties fall to the women? Grrr. I'm glad you are getting the help you need--it's truly a crazy time of year.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you found a great solution that is working. This time of year takes so much effort to make everyone happy. Our gift list seems to have grown to be all about teachers, babysitters, coaches, secretaries, bus drivers --- and all of the other people that you want to acknowledge/thank for being a part of your children's lives. I'm not complaining, I'm just observing that it makes for a lot of extra running around and expense. I think it might be time for us to let some things go as well. A night at home with hot chocolate and marshmallows can sometimes be more fun than a hot, sweaty, crowded breakfast with Santa. My opinion -- hopefully the kids will agree.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard work being wonderful ;)
ReplyDeleteI asked HUBS to help as well...he is in charge of three gifts! BAAAAAA
Good for you for speaking up. So many women never even try. Here's hoping it's smooth sailing until 12/31!
ReplyDeleteI agree...it's no fun doing it all by yourself. As I tell my Hubs: I do interior illumination, he does exterior illumination. 50/50, baby.
ReplyDeleteAsking for help is the first step. Whittling down your self imposed "To Do" list to include only the essentials is the next step. I find that we try to do too much to create a magical holiday. If I don't get to the holiday cookies or even the Christmas cards it's no big deal in the huge scheme of things. What really matters is being well rested and present with my family. It's in the moments that the magic happens.
ReplyDeleteI agree...it's too hard to do alone!!
ReplyDelete