Thursday, October 1, 2009

Three's Company

It is so interesting to watch the sibling dynamics play out between my three children. B and A have such a unique relationship since they are twins. They have always been so unbelievably close. One of my biggest hopes is that they will always remain so. When R came along, I wondered how she would fit into that. Was there a place for her? Because, sometimes, even I feel left out of the twin thing.

It’s a good thing she has the personality that she does. R would not give up. She fought and inched her way in. Bit by bit. She’s a scrappy youngest sibling like that. There to grab up whatever is left. And they did it. They let her in. B and A have a completely different relationship with her than with each other, but they are all close.

I really do believe that A is getting pure enjoyment out of having a baby sister. She is so maternal with her-so loving and nurturing. The expressions and tonality with which she speaks to her could be coming directly from my mouth. It is wild to hear yourself like that. To hear what you sound like as you are mothering. This is what A has given me-a chance to witness myself parenting. R adores A also. She is the first of the two that she’ll run to for help or for a snuggle if I’m not right there. A teaches her things everyday. She is always ready to help her (sometimes a bit too much in R’s opinion!). I often have to remind A that she is not the mommy, but the big sister. A has actually said, “Well, she’s my baby too. “ I try to be protective of the big sister turning into the second mother role. I am a big sister. So, I know how later in life, if you want a good relationship with your sibling, you cannot be the second mother. And I want them to be close.

B is the one that R will always turn to for a good, full belly laugh. He’s the one she likes to tease. The one that will wrestle her and run around and chase her. He seems to know her limitations and how to be gentle with her. It’s very cute to watch. She really idolizes him and is always watching him. Observing him. I think she thinks he’s pretty cool-as much as a 2 year old understands what it is to be cool. He can take her or leave her most of the time. But, then, he wants or almost craves a little love or some attention from her. So, they’ll pick up a game of some sort and play for a while. While he is not the teacher or disciplinarian for R, he brings the fun. He brings the laughter. And she finds him hysterical! No one can get her to laugh as hard as B can. She gives him the chance to be soft and sweet. He has learned how to nurture someone at the ripe old age of 7 because of R. These are all good traits for a boy to have. One day, it will help him to be a good father.

This past year, as R went from one to two years old and really started interacting with them, my twosome added a third. I never thought we would have any more children after B and A. R was so unexpected. And, true to form, she seems to have worked her way in. If only to prove that she was destined to be here all along.


  1. I love the last line. It is destiny, I think :)

  2. That picture says it all. How lucky they are to have each other.

  3. Beautiful. And that picture...amazing. I love the last line too.

  4. What a beautiful post. I also see a lot of myself in how my older daughter speaks to/treats her little sister. It's the most honest reflection I've had of myself as a mom.

    And gorgeous photograph. It looks like a greeting card.

  5. Everyone has their place in the family, and your kids are lucky to have each other. Such a sweet post. And I love that pic!