I’m sitting here trying to glue my heart back in my chest. Today, my children went back to school. B and A were so excited to get started with 2nd grade. 2nd Grade! Wow. When did that happen?
This year was easier on me (and them) than last year. They were thrilled to be going back and meeting their new teachers and spending time with friends. I had my small mommy meltdown last night with T. Each year, it just breaks my heart to let them go. If I were honest, I would keep them at age 3 or 4 and home with me all the time. No, I could never be that selfish. Could I?
During the school year, I feel that I hardly see my children. I know, it sounds weird to me too. But, it’s true! After a full day at school, we come home around 3:30 pm. Then, there is homework to be done, piano lessons, soccer practices, religious ed., brownies etc. etc. etc. Throw in dinner and baths and we have a maybe an hour or so of time before bed at 8:15. Pathetic, I know.
I rack my brain trying to figure out what we are going to do about this. Too many activities, perhaps? However, they are not into any more than most children their age. There is no solution that I can come up with. I think it’s just a factor of them growing up. They have separate components of their lives from me now. It’s not all day long with Mommy; day in and day out any more. This is much harder for me to accept than for them. This I know for a fact because my children are not the ones clinging to their mommy’s leg crying on the first day of school. And for that I am grateful. It means that I have done my job up to this point.
I think that’s why I cherished the summer so much. Just good quality time with all three of my children. Waking up each day without a set agenda and nothing that couldn’t be altered if our moods felt like it. Now we are back to rushing around, meeting schedules and a checklist that needs to be completed.
I hope this new school year helps us to get back into routines that are positive for us. For the kids, I hope for lots of learning and making of new friends. Growing each day a little more. For R, I hope that her and I get a chance to bond now that she is acting more like a little person each day. And lastly, for me, I’d like a little time to exercise both my body and my mind. Perhaps, if I put all of those hopes and dreams onto that checklist, we may be able to accomplish some of them.