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Yesterday, I went out to collect our mail. This task is not nearly as joyous now that the holiday cards have ended and what’s coming are the bills from the month of December. So, I am opening envelopes when I see a magazine offer that is personally addressed to me.

The magazine is entitled Mo.re. They are new. They were offering a free year’s subscription.

Now, I am a magazine junkie. I subscribe to numerous magazines of a large variety. There is O, Entertainment. Weekly, Par.ents, In. Style, Martha. Stewart, Bon. Appetite, Gour.met, the now defunct Coo.kie. You get the idea. It’s a nice varietal mix. Some entertainment, a little improve your life, some parenting, some cooking, fashion.

So, answer me this. Where in the hell does that magazine list read old lady?

Because that’s what this new magazine was offering. Let me quote you from their letter.

“Are you landing or taking off?” This one just pissed me off and not because I am in my twilight years, but because I am in that weird motherhood induced confusion phase.

“In Mo.re, we talk about real issues that matter to you now-from hot flashes to ways to enhance your natural beauty.” Call me crazy, but I am not hot flashing yet at 35.

“Fact. You’re different from the woman you once were.” No shit. But, I can tell you this. I am not yet the fully gray haired woman on your bi-fold brochure either.

(Under a section about finances) “What to say if your children don’t want to sever the financial umbilical cord.” Well, this would be sort of difficult for them since I just severed the real umbilical cord only three years ago. Call me crazy, but a three year old and two seven year olds might need us financially for a few more years.

“In Mo.re, we’re open about things like weight gain, menopause, cancer and anti-aging.” All fun topics that I would love to read about in my five minutes of down time, no?

I have never been more annoyed at receiving something randomly in the mail. I don’t know why it struck me so harshly. In a very logical way, I realize that I probably was put on some bizarre mailing list or purchased some things that led them to believe I was of a certain age. However, I think I am upset because I just had a birthday I wasn’t that comfortable with. In my defense, I don’t think turning 35 should justify aging magazines and products to come calling.

Perhaps, what bothered me the most, was it reflected one of my biggest concerns. That I went from being a youthful twenty something to having children. The years of motherhood and taking care of little people are thrilling and exhausting and can seem kind of like a roller coaster ride. I’m just recently aware, and a bit afraid, that if I don’t slow it down and pay closer attention, I might just step off the ride and be… old.

I want there to be something there for me when I get off this ride. I want to step into a fulfilled life. Not the typical emptiness or loneliness that comes with the children leaving. A life for me has to be waiting on the other side of the platform. Thanks to that magazine for pointing out that it may not be as far off as I'd like…