Happy Birthday to me…
Tomorrow, I turn 35. I know it’s not old. But, for the first time, it feels as if it’s starting to get there.
I did not blink at turning 30. I was excited even. Your 20’s are hard work. You are becoming an adult. Finding your soul mate and settling down. Figuring out your career and starting on that journey. You may even start your family. The 20s are the beginning of everything.
So, when I turned 30, I was excited. This was the decade of reaping the rewards. I was married. Check off soul mate. I had 2 out of 3 of my children. Check to the starting the family thing. I had quit the career that I never loved to do what I believe I was meant to do all along-be a mother. We had struggled to put T through graduate school and he had successfully changed careers and was settling into that nicely. Check to the beginning of financial stability. The workhorse days of my 20s were done. Bring on the decade of enjoyment!
So, here I am. Smack in the middle of that decade. The shore of my 20s looks very far away. And the 40s hilltop seems to be gaining momentum. I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with this.
I’ve been on cruise control for a while now and that’s what I needed. The things that I mentioned checking off above were a lot of hard work. I needed to coast. Now, I think I’m bored with that. It is time to pick up some speed again. I need to focus on what the remainder of this decade is going to bring and what I want to shape my forties to look like. (Oh God. I just wrote my forties…)
So, here is my birthday wish list for myself. I am going to tell you that I could put very profound, idealistic items on here like world peace and saving the environment, but this is my blog. So, these are going to be my personal wishes. Let’s just assume things like no war, a healthy planet, no pain and suffering and so on is a given…
1. A career of my own. I’m not going to stop being a full time mom any time soon. But, I need to find a niche of my own. I want to have something outside of them. Something that gives me a creative outlet.
2. Since we are wishing here, I’d really love to write a children’s book. How fun does that sound?!?
3. A body that moves and looks like mine did before the two c-sections, three children and twin pregnancy. God, where did that go? This wish sucks because more than all of them, it’s a necessity and it is the most difficult to do. Yes, in my head, it’s even harder than publishing a book. You heard me correctly.
4. A vacation with just T and me. Somewhere romantic like Italy or Napa.
5. To be the best mom I can be every single day. To see the joy in my children and to be able to project it back onto them. To have them realize how much I love them each and every day.
6. To have time slow down just a little. I don’t want to feel like I am always traveling at the speed of light. It is making my children’s childhood move way too quickly and it is making me crazy.
7. Peace. Peace of mind. Peace of heart.
Here’s hoping that because I shared my wishes out loud, they’re not going to not come true! Thanks for helping me celebrate. This blog is my first step towards wish number one. For that, I am very grateful to those who read it each day. Now, go. Find some chocolate. It is a birthday party after all! (Damn again to wish number three…)