Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Boiling Point

Pressure.

It’s everywhere when it comes to raising children these days.

Both of my eight year olds play travel soccer. They each practice twice a week and have games on the weekend. Yet, some of the children on their teams are now attending extra practices. Just to try and improve. Some more. It is not mandated by the coaches or requested by the children. But, their parents are taking them. Sometimes, B and A will make a comment about it. I tell them not to worry about it. They get loads of practice in already.

Pressure.

Every one of the boys on my son’s soccer team is also playing fall baseball or football. That’s in addition to the travel soccer. This year, we told B that he had to take the fall off from baseball because his sister started playing and traveling also. Our family (me) needed to see if we could manage this new schedule. Travel tryouts for baseball are this year for him. Will he be behind the curve now? I’m not sure.

Pressure.

We attended their school curriculum night on Tuesday. Most of the other mothers that I talked to the next day were not pleased with how things went. People are disappointed in the pace for this year’s learning. They are hoping for more of a private school experience at a public institution. There was lots of discussion regarding the extra work that will have to be done at home to get the desired results. In order for them to be competitive when it comes to college enrollment. They are currently eight.

Pressure.

When we were young, we did an activity because it sounded like fun. Because we were interested in it. Maybe we did one thing at a time. Throughout my childhood, I took ballet lessons, played softball, swam on the swim team, participated in girl scouts and was in cheerleading. I loved these activities. They were fun. But, I never had more than one going at any given time. We did not come home from school and race around from one thing to the next. We never ate dinner in the car. I just wonder if these kids are going to burn out before they even get to high school. It’s my sneaking suspicion that they might.

So, I try to place limits. Let some of the steam out of the pan. I refuse to drive them crazy at this early of an age about these things. Thus, why we opt out of the extra practices and the extra sport for now. Thus, why A had to let girl scouts go this year when she chose travel soccer and orchestra. Give and take. I’m not sure where everyone is heading with all of this. The constant push. The constant quest for more. They want the superstar athlete on multiple teams. They want the A+ student that is Harvard bound. They want it all. I just wonder. What do these children want?

No pressure.

10 comments:

  1. Laura...amen. I am working on a post on this very topic because I am in the midst of it and I worry just the same. About burnout. About being 8 and having fun. I think they're is something seriously wrong with our world right now where an 8-year-old has this much pressure. Maybe we can start a movement?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It seems like it's a lot harder to be kid nowadays. I wonder how they manage to survive childhood with any kind of self-esteem intact.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you are on the right track. Lots of people I know and went to high school with didn't do "extra" things and their parents didn't pressure them and they still became smart, successful adults. I'm not sure to what extent we can change that in our kids, or if we even can. Let them enjoy the experience of being a kid because we all know our Mom's were right on this one. " It goes by way too fast."

    ReplyDelete
  4. I felt the pressure just reading this. We're just getting started in the world of after-school sports and activities. It's like my little one and I need the 7 hours at home during the day just to prepare ourselves for what happens when her sister gets out of school. The pressure of the other parents is insane. I'm already on the outskirts of them, by choice, hoping it won't effect my girls. But I'm with you. They're little. They need to do it for fun. Is that even possible anymore?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hurrah!!! Finally someone says it! There is SO much pressure all over the place. And I have yet to figure out if it is pressure on the kids, or pressure on the parents to be better, have the smartest, most athletic, or the most talented kids. Where does it end? There's even pressure to have a social life, playdates here, playdates there, so and so is coming here, so and so is playing there. Can't we just hang out for an afternoon with our kids and not look like a bad or lazy mom??

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am so glad you posted about this. I have a friend that has her 5 year old nad 3 year old enrolled in EVERYTHING! She often asks why my 4 year old isn't in dance or my 17 month isn't playing hockey yet (our activities when we were younger). I want my kids to do something because they LOVE it. But I also don't want that to impede on family time, like it did for me and my husband when we were growing up.

    Thank you for posting this!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I agree 100% with you. Life is stressful as can be! Why in good heavens would we want to do that to our children? NOT ME! Life is too short. Being a child should be as magical and stress free as possible! : )

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are so right. Kids are under too much pressure. It is hard on a family when they are constantly running from one activity to the next. I guess we should try to home a low stress environment.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Laura - I agree childhood appears to be becoming a real pressure cooker as we attempt to give our kids "more" than we had. I have to admit that I often fall on the wrong side of the balance line, even now when my kids are just in preschool. There's this strange battle I have with myself over giving them free play but also justifying all of the scheduled activities because it must make them "well rounded" while legitimizing my existence at the same time. *sigh*

    p.s. Thanks for your kind words on my blog. It's people like you that make me want to be a better blogger. -K

    ReplyDelete
  10. Exactly right. My friend just had to stay in a hotel room with her family because her 8 year old had an out of town football game. EIGHT!

    ReplyDelete